Life with Chronic Pain and Illness: Knowing When To Speak Up!

Life with Chronic Pain and Illness

 

Life with chronic pain and illness is a challenge. And it is made even more difficult when we encounter people, particularly those in the medical profession, who belittle us, gaslight us, treat us as less than, and speak to us in a manner they likely wouldn’t use with someone who doesn’t have chronic pain and illness.

I’m not one who usually speaks up. I don’t want to rock the boat. However, treatment I’ve received at recent appointments has made me a bit bolder in this area. I have recently spoken up at two different offices. I mentioned the mistreatment (verbal and body language), not hearing back from providers after three weeks, despite leaving multiple messages (written and by phone), etc. Will it make a difference? I don’t know, but no one deserves to be treated the way I have been treated. If my feedback or comments can make it possible for a patient to not leave in tears as I did, then I’m thankful that I could help with that.

Sadly, I suspect that some of you will totally understand and be able to relate to these situations, such as: 

• scheduling appointments and explaining what you’re coming in for only to get there and be told nothing could be done
• having staff (and sometimes the doctor/specialist) give you the “glare,” have an attitude, or literally roll their eyes at your comments
• manhandle you while trying to draw blood, etc.

 

Sometimes, I’ve had people apologize for someone else’s behavior, but that’s rare. While appreciated, it doesn’t change the fact that it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

This treatment is one reason why I generally have my husband attend appointments with me. With him there, some of the behaviors I see when I’m alone don’t occur. Sadly, some still do, which tells me that it may just be that person’s unacceptable behavior with everyone.

I’m left wondering: Why does everything have to be so difficult? Lately, I have been poo-pooed off and bounced between providers who charge me to only repeat what was in my case notes from the prior dr. (and that visit wasn’t helpful in the first place).

Why do people think that it is okay to make others feel like they are nothing but a burden to them? When you’re in the medical field, don’t you take an oath to do no harm? That is supposed to apply to doctors, for sure, but perhaps it should apply to support staff, as well. I used to work in a medical office, and there, as well as with every job I’ve ever had, I always tried to treat people as I would want to be treated—something that I recall being taught when I was a young child, and it has stuck with me to this day. Unfortunately, many people do not seem to subscribe to that philosophy these days.

Have you had a similar experience? Did you speak up and tell someone about how you were treated, or did you keep it to yourself?  Do you wish you had done something differently?

 

I hope you have a low-pain day. 

 

If you’d like to read more Life with Chronic Pain and Illness posts, click here.